Modern Mommie

I have never had much empathy.  Being a selfish creature and relying more on logic than feelings, I felt I never had much use for it....that is until I read some parenting books.

Wow, now I am beginning to understand the word and the need for more empathy.  Empathy helps us feel accepted, understood and loved.  One suprising thing about empathy, is you don't have to approve of the behavior or emotion to understand.  Empathy shows you understand,  but then taking it a step further you can explian what you didn't like about the behavior.  I have always skipped over the empathy part and just gone into what I didn't like.  Opps!  People need to be understood and once they are  they become more willing to listen.
I've always been picky about my friends, there are lots of people I don't like to be around, and very few that I feel comfortable around.  When I think about my relationships, empathy is a big part of why I like who I like.  I just never put that word on it before.  I appriceate frankness in my relationships, and often agree to disagree.  What keeps us friends is empathy.  We hear each other and understand where the other comes from. 

As a parent I am putting empathy into practice.  When my DD throws a tantrum, I put myself her in shoes and let her know that I understand why she is upset.  And then I explain why that behavior is not acceptable.  Putting a lable on what she is feeling drops the intensity of the emotion and it soon passes. 

I'm a little late in posting for breastfeeding week, but better late than never!

1) I get to hold my on the move little one
2) Getting her to go to sleep involves zero tears
3) no worries about nutrition, if she doesn't eat 'real' food I know
she'll get all she needs from nursing
4) we stay healthy!  No sickness
5) instant comfort, just put her on the boob and she's happy
6) Weight loss!  Yes, you can loose baby weight without stressing about calories, or exercise!!!

Love to have a plan?  Me too, I like knowing what is coming.  One really fun thing about planning is you get to imagine what your life could be like, and then put in steps to make it happen!  Plans never work out exactly like we plan, but without one I feel lost.  It's comforting to know what to look forward to, but motherhood and being a wife have shown me that day to day living is where the real joy is to be found.

Not sure why but some days are like summer breezes, they are warm, gentle, and soothing. Then other days come at you like a storm quick decisions are needed and every word seems to be thrown at you. I don't handle storms well. It's the unexpected that I struggle to handle with grace, and it's so hard to have a plan for the unexpected.

So I think I need a new PLAN:

Purposeful
Living
Absolutely
Now

Yep, that's what I need.  A plan to be in the moment, when life happens.  To drink in each moment and start living in the now and not hoping for a someday to happen.  And when the storms come up, I will just enjoy them and look for the silver lining that comes with them.

The day started like any other. Aislie woke up happy, she danced while I drew a bath; ate breakfast, and then we played.  I thought about getting out of the house and running errands, but first I needed to use the bathroom.

I held her hands as we walked towards the bathroom, then had her sit down and play while I did my business. She wasn't content so I grabbed a coat-hanger and dub her queen of hanging clothes. I put the hanger down as I grabbed the toilet paper. That's when it happened.

At my feet, my little girl hooked her face with the hanger I had given her. At first I thought she had gotten her mouth so I scooped her up and went to give her some Arnica and nurse (that fixes almost anything). When I gave her the Arnica that's when I noticed the blood; it was not coming from her mouth, but her eye! Oh Merciful God, please help us! She was still crying and her eyes weren't open, I called Todd (my husband and her Daddy). He told me to call 911. I hung up, knowing he was on his way, and called 911. Daddy got home before the ambulance. At this point she had stopped crying and the bleeding had stopped. Her eye was open and looked fine. Thank God, she probably just caught her eyelid!

The EMTs checked her out, and we made an appointment with the pediatrician. Went to the pediatrician's and by now she has almost no signs except some dried blood around her eye, which she would not let me clean.  Her eye is FINE!  Praise God, things could have been so much worse....

She falls asleep on the ride home we nurse some and I make sure she is sleeping good. I hug my husband before he goes back to work and then I sit in the quiet house. I am so thankful that it is not as bad as it could have been.

What could have happened makes me feel sick.  She was at my feet, not in another room but right in front of me.  I gave her that darn coat-hanger to play with.  Ah!  I feel so helpless and out of control.  My mind races, with what if and thank God. Guilt, that's not strong enough a word to describe how I feel. Am I the worst parent ever?  How could God let me steward of this precious little life even when I might fail? Was this just a reminder that I am not the one in control?  Things will happen and even when things look the bleakest, God will be there with me, guiding me on His path.

This bathroom trip has helped put things into perspective.  Be grateful for every day, even the "bad" ones (which aren't really so bad).  Things can change in a moment.  Something as mundane as a coat hanger could change your life, so be grateful for every healthy day you get!