Empathy

I have never had much empathy.  Being a selfish creature and relying more on logic than feelings, I felt I never had much use for it....that is until I read some parenting books.

Wow, now I am beginning to understand the word and the need for more empathy.  Empathy helps us feel accepted, understood and loved.  One suprising thing about empathy, is you don't have to approve of the behavior or emotion to understand.  Empathy shows you understand,  but then taking it a step further you can explian what you didn't like about the behavior.  I have always skipped over the empathy part and just gone into what I didn't like.  Opps!  People need to be understood and once they are  they become more willing to listen.
I've always been picky about my friends, there are lots of people I don't like to be around, and very few that I feel comfortable around.  When I think about my relationships, empathy is a big part of why I like who I like.  I just never put that word on it before.  I appriceate frankness in my relationships, and often agree to disagree.  What keeps us friends is empathy.  We hear each other and understand where the other comes from. 

As a parent I am putting empathy into practice.  When my DD throws a tantrum, I put myself her in shoes and let her know that I understand why she is upset.  And then I explain why that behavior is not acceptable.  Putting a lable on what she is feeling drops the intensity of the emotion and it soon passes.